PreArrangments - Are They for Me?

Now we continue our journey into prearranged funeral planning...here is part two of our discussion. Family Owned Funeral Homes.

Why Work with a Family-Owned Funeral Home?

What's in a name? In the funeral industry, name recognition means a lot. People tend to trust names they recognize and that are well regarded in the community. When conglomerates acquire some of these small, family-owned funeral homes, they keep the original name because it's a selling point. It's the ticket, if you will. People do choose funeral homes that they're familiar with and are likely to return to one that has provided them with good service in the past.Your first call, when death occurs in the family, is to your neighborhood funeral home. It's natural for people to call on familiar names. Angela Patterson of Anderson-Patterson Cremation & Funeral Services, Fort Myers and Lehigh Acres, FL., says "doing business with a family owned and operated funeral home is essential in this current time, it gives the family the confidence and sense of ease that is needed in these very difficult situations. We do our best to make each and every family feel at home in our funeral homes as well as try to provide a homey setting so they can feel at ease and at home." Mr. Anderson, also with Anderson-Patterson has been in the funeral business for nearly 40 years and also feels that neighborhood and family are very important when dealing with the death of a loved one. It seems that the small family-owned funeral homes will continue to do well and are here for the long haul. Acquisition groups, which are buying cemeteries and funeral homes, have not obliterated them. Their commitment to the family and to personalized service will keep them in the game-even if the big guys can continue charging less by buying caskets and other funeral products at volume discount. Not a worry for Daryn Patterson "It's not like going to Wal-mart to buy a dress," he offers. "But we do give affordable, personal service and provide a funeral experience for the living."

Family-Owned Funeral Homes--What's So Special about Them? Why choose a family-owned funeral home? Family-owned funeral homes are locally owned and operated, independent funeral homes. Many families have been in funeral service for generations. They have a personal relationship with the community and are actively involved in the communities they serve. With family-owned funeral homes, everything they do reflects their on-going commitment to provide affordable, quality services to the community. Customer trust is built slowly over time. Family-owned funeral homes are usually staffed by family members, members of the community, and graduates from local colleges. Conglomerates (corporations) buy funeral homes from all over the country. When purchased by a conglomerate, some families continue to run and maintain the funeral home. From outward appearances, you cannot tell whether a funeral home is family or corporate owned. To find a family-owned funeral home in your area, take the time to make some phone calls or talk to others in your community or even your church, most pastors know who is family owned and who is corporate owned.

Why Should I Know About Pre-Arranging My Funeral?

Why should I pre-plan my funeral? What if I should get struck down by an act of God or Mother Nature, would my family know what my wishes are? Would they be able to fund a funeral for me or even a basic disposition without putting themselves in a financial bind? Do you have the answers to these basic quesitons? I will try to explain these things here for you and show you how important it is to pre-plan for the inevitable.


Pre-Planning a Funeral or Memorial Service--Preneed Funeral Planning or Pre-arrangement Funeral Planning

No one likes to think about death, let alone plan for it. In many families, discussing one's mortality is an extremely uncomfortable topic.
By pre-planning your funeral, you relieve your family of having to make important financial decisions during a period of great stress and grief.
This section contains everything you need to know about pre-planning a funeral; your local family-owned funeral director can help you make the actual arrangements.


Pre Need--The Basics of Pre-Planning Funerals

Pre-planning a funeral is also known as "preneed" planning. Preneed refers to prearranging and pre-funding your own funeral. A preneed insurance policy covers the cost of the funeral at the time of death.Every year, millions of North Americans arrange their funerals in advance. They explore their options for a ceremony, they discuss costs, and they set up a plan with the professionals in their community to ensure they'll have the funeral they choose.

Why is Preneed Funeral Planning Important?

No one likes to think about death, let alone plan for it. In many families, discussing one's mortality is an extremely uncomfortable topic. But it is a topic that should be discussed and planned for well in advance of your death.
By pre-planning your funeral, you relieve your family of having to make important financial decisions during a period of great stress and grief-a time when people aren't thinking very clearly and may not know what to do because you never made your wishes known.
It's easy to say, "Don't make a fuss. I don't want a ceremony. Just bury me and be done with it." But it is important to realize that the ritual of a funeral and/or memorial service isn't for the deceased but for the living. It is a time when friends and family can gather together to grieve openly and to provide support for one another.

Pre-planning your funeral can be very informal, and as simple as following our pre-planning checklist and sharing your wishes with a family member. More formal arrangements in the form of a preneed contract can be set up with a funeral director or pre-arranger and pre-funded through life insurance, bank trust agreement, or another method.
Pre-planning, when done properly, can give you peace of mind because you know that your arrangements are ready and pre-funded. Meet with your funeral director or pre-arranger to discuss pre-planning.
By pre-planning your funeral, you can:
• make all the arrangements during a time of peace and not leave them to your family during their time of grief;
• make your wishes known;
• control the cost of your funeral and protect from inflation;
• ensure that personal records are organized and easy for your survivors to locate;
• protect your insurance so that it provides for your survivors and not for funeral expenses; and
• provide protection in case the need arises before it is expected;

excerpts from Funeral Plan.com

Thursday is a good day...

Thursday is always a good day in the life of me...I get to hang out at home and work on blogger, do some housework, yuk...and get some needed computer work done.

Do You Communicate With Aging Parents?

.........as a baby boomer, between 46 and 64, you are part of 78.2 million that have considerable power in determining the fabric of American culture. Our parents, born between 1901 and 1945, who are members of the GI Generation or the Silent Generation are looking to us for their quality of life. Almost 30% of all baby boomers are currently helping their aging parents manage their lives in some way.

Sometimes the relative success adult children have with helping their aging parents is explained in different values, personal qualities, and behaviors that each generation demonstrates. There certainly can be a "generation gap" in communication between the parent and the adult child, mainly due to the fact that they act and think in quite a different way. To create a rapport and help parents as they age, it would help boomers to understand the differences between the generations. One way is to start a dialog with parents about important issues before an event or crisis creating the boomer's involvement.

First, the members of the GI Generation who were born in 1901-1924 are the oldest of the matures in our population and they total about 2.5 million. They are civic-minded and laid the foundation of 20th century America with sheer guts, determination and native intellignce. They are loyal, hard-working, duty-oriented people who preferred to conform to the norm. They have great faith in the institutions of government and conservative values about money.

The youngest members of this generation are in their early 80's, and the oldest are becoming our centenarians. Their adult children may be turning 60 or already facing 70's-80's. Boomers trying to relate to this geriatric population should expect some resistance to help or about institutional care, because their desire is to be self reliant. If they have fincancial means they may be more receptive to help in any form, as long as they can pay their own way.

The Silent Generation shares similar characteristics, born in the 1925-1945 era, they total about 35 million today, and conformed to the values of their parents. The oldest entered the workforce after WWII and became the establishment. The youngest are approaching retirement age and this generation is traditioal, disciplined, self-reliant, experienced, respectful of authority and willing to sacrifice.

The Silent Generation would rather have quality over efficiency. The most wealthy generation, they are also generous by nature, and have spent considerable income to provide the best for their boomer babies. Oldest members of this genertion tend to keep their personal affairs to themselves and may not be very receptive to family discussions about aging topics. They are, however, adaptive and will compromise when necessary.

In come the boomers, they love self-expression! Boomer's desire to communicate with aging parents about aging issues and older life issues are bound to be met with some degree of resistance. These aging parents thrived on taking responsibility for themselves and others. Many will receive the boomer's interest as intrusion, unless the subject is approached with true respect and concern.

Educated and savvy consumer boomers may want to take control of a parents' decision making, leading to a non-working situation with mature generations. Boomers and aging parents having a close relationship will have an easier time with these conversations and it will be easier to address the concerns about aging. Some families rely on one sibling to talk to the parents because of a special relationship they have with one another.

Boomers and their parents need to be ready for the unexpected, when boomers need to step-in and help manage affairs on a temporary or permanent basis.

Some ideas for starting these conversations are to mention a friend or family who may have a medical or financial problem right now they are dealing with. Discuss a situation in an article or TV show where these issues are being addressed at this time. Provide parents with a list of questions to be discussed at a later date. The best time to have these discussions is when the parent is well and rested. Concerns should be expressed in the form of questions, to learn what parents think about the situation. If they are not ready to talk, leave the subject alone for another time. This is an on-going process.

Hopefully, this will help, some of the topics that need to be addressed general needs, wishes and fears of parents. Eldercare preferences, medical status, legal documents and funeral and burial arrangements.

I hope this has answered some questions about communicating with aging parents, it can be difficult but we are educated and savvy and can handle these trying times with our parents with a cool head and a warm heart.

Are You a Boomer?

Are you a baby boomer? Most of my friends are and if you are, your friends probably are too. Do you have parents or grandparents that you are responsible for? Do you know where to look for the right person to sit with them or the right place for them to get the medication they so desperately need? Well, I have some answers to those questions. First of all "breath". This is going to be a bumpy ride, but you are the one who can do it, you've taken the first step, 'cause you have stepped up to the plate and are the caregiver or the inspiration behind it all. You are going to be fine and you are going to do a GREAT job.

One place to look for someone to sit with an aged parent or grandparent is your church, the senior center where you live or more importantly where they live, some churches offer senior daycare, these can be good places for seniors to go, there is interaction with others of their own age and also someone to look after them while you are at work or even while you are running your errands. Another place, look at the grocery store, this may sound funny, but most stores have bulletin boards with all kinds of info for sitters, etc. The medication part is a little more complicated, but check with the church, they may offer a program for seniors, check with the drug company that makes the meds, sometimes they offer plans for seniors, also the senior center is a good avenue for information. It may take some leg-work, but it will be worth it.

One of the places you may want to look for answers to other questions you may have is @boomerauthority, ask your questions from Twitter and get answers. The other one is BabyBoomerKnowledgeCenter.com, search on something and get a list of links and places to go to get answers. These are some great resources for Boomers to get information or just get knowledge....that is important in our lives today as well.

Boomers are one of the largest age groups today, keep up with all of it, check out all your resources and don't get left behind. WikipediA describes the baby-boomers as the post World War II baby boom. We are the Beatlemania, anti-VietNam war movement, Howdy-Doody, StarTrek, and Mission Impossible TV shows, and then there's Woodstock. One of the unique features of Boomers is that they tend to think of themselves as a special generation, very different from those that had come before. In the 1960s, as the relatively large numbers of young people became teenagers and young adults, they, and those around them, created a very specific rhetoric around their cohort, and the change they were bringing about. So if you are in this group you are a Boomer...Enjoy IT...

Pink Satin....

I was looking for articles on the internet recently and found this little item...

In an article by Insure.com on MSN Money recently…..

Don’t want to go to your grave in pink satin? Then consider buying a burial policy that allows you to choose and pay for everything ahead from the casket or urn to the flowers at the service.

Have you ever imagined what your funeral would be like? What kind of service there would be? Or even what kind of coffin you would prefer?

Morbid? Perhaps. Unreasonable, Not at all. There are plenty of reasons to pre-plan and, if possible, prepay your final arrangements long before the need arises. In fact, a product called “preneed” insurance, also known as burial or funeral insurance, is intended for just that purpose.

If you would like any additional information contact me at: kathi.oshaughnessy@gmail.com. I would like to answer any questions you have.

Can I Help?

I am a baby boomer and many of my friends are as well. In groups so many times our conversations turn to the friend that isn't there because they are having a hard time right now.....their parent has recently been diagnosed with ---(it can be anything that would make it difficult to function and have a normal life) and he/she is going to have to step up and help out. What would you do if that conversation were in your circle of friends?
I have a few suggestions...
1. Offer moral support.
2. Call and see what you can do to help.
3. Pick up things at the store, walk the dog, anything that would help out....
4. Watch children.
These are just a few suggestions, I am sure you can come up with so many more.
Your friend needs all the help and support at this very difficult time....step up, you can do it and it will make you feel so good....