Funeral Planning Step by Step
"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die."--Ecclesiastes 3:1-2.
No one wants to talk about death and funerals. Too depressing. Too macabre. Better to gather friends and talk about fun things, like popular TV shows, the latest items I the news or even the gossipy stuff. Unfortunately, death is a fact of life and there simply is no way to avoid it. For indeed there is a "time to be born and a time to die." When someone dies, we hold a funeral, a word related to a Sanskrit term meaning smoke, which refers to an ancient custom of cremating the dead.
Today we also cremate our dead, but the most common disposition is to hold a funeral or ceremony and bury our dead under or above ground. Through a funeral, we pay our last respects and celebrate the life of a departed loved one.
But the cost and the details involved in a funeral can be overwhelming. So planning ahead gives one peace of mind and eases the emotional and financial strain of those left behind. What to do?
How to Choose a Funeral Service Provider
Many people don't realize that they are not legally required to use a funeral home to plan and conduct a funeral. However, because they have little experience with the many details and legal requirements involved and may be emotionally distraught when it's time to make the plans, many people find the services of a professional funeral home to be a comfort.
Consumers often select a funeral home or cemetery because it's close to home, has served the family in the past, or has been recommended by someone they trust. But people who limit their search to just one funeral home may risk paying more than necessary for the funeral or narrowing their choice of goods and services.
Comparison shopping need not be difficult, especially if it's done before the need for a funeral arises. If you visit a funeral home in person, the funeral provider is required by law to give you a general price list itemizing the cost of the products and services the home offers. If the general price list does not include specific prices of caskets or outer burial containers, the law requires the funeral director to show you the price lists for those items before showing you the items.
Sometimes it's more convenient and less stressful to "price shop" funeral homes by telephone. The Funeral Rule requires funeral directors to provide price information over the phone to any caller who asks for it. In addition, many funeral homes are happy to mail you their price lists, although that is not required by law.
When comparing prices, be sure to consider the total cost of all the items together, in addition to the cost of individual items. Every funeral home should have price lists that include all the items essential for the different types of arrangements it offers. Many funeral homes offer package funerals that may cost less than purchasing individual items or services. Offering package funerals is permitted by law, as long as an itemized price list is also provided. But only by using the price lists can you accurately compare total costs.
Preneed Funeral Planning Checklist
Our preneed checklist shows you how many decisions must be made by a family member at the time of your death. This does not include choosing a casket or urn and outer burial container, notifying relatives, preparing a family history for the obituary, arranging for floral displays, etc.
By taking time now to consider the items below, you can make your wishes known to your family. You might even consider formalizing your preneed arrangements with a funeral director, which would allow you to complete all of your arrangements now.
• Name of church (if service to be held)
• Clergy to preside over service (name)
• Music? Vocal? Instrumental?
• Special musical selections?
• Would you like to have a visitation?
• Open casket? Closed casket?
• Funeral home preference?
• Obituary?
• Names of pallbearers
• Memorial contributions
• If veteran, flag on casket? Folded?
• Clothing
• Glasses
• Jewelry
• Location of cemetery property and deed
• Type of property: burial space/lawn crypt/mausoleum/niche
• Other instructions
